Aylino Hernández, a Cuban user on TikTok known as @aylinohernandez, has sparked an intense conversation by sharing a personal experience that many migrants prefer to keep quiet about: bringing your parents to the United States doesn't always lead to the fairy-tale ending one might hope for.
In her video titled "Raising Those Who Raised Us," Aylino paints a picture familiar to the Cuban-American community. After years of sacrifice, paperwork, and hard work, she finally manages to reunite her parents—both over 60 years old—in the country she envisioned for them all. The first few days are filled with joy: outings, shopping sprees, celebrations, and the feeling of being whole.
However, once the initial excitement fades, reality sets in. The daily grind of work from Monday to Friday, raising children, and managing bills leaves little time. As the children's lives fall back into routine, the parents start to feel out of place. They struggle with the language, lack driving skills, find it hard to work, and lose the independence they once had in Cuba. "Mom and Dad realize there's not much they can do," Aylino observes.
The biggest challenge, she says, isn't financial but finding a sense of purpose. The feelings of uselessness, nostalgia, and dissatisfaction start to weigh them down. The emotional burden adds to the financial one, as many children transition from simply being children to becoming caregivers, managers, psychologists, and the complete support system for their parents.
Her closing statement struck a chord: "Don't feel guilty if you think about sending your mom and dad back to Cuba." Aylino clarifies that her perspective comes from personal experience and that it's not a lack of love, but rather an acknowledgment that "some things money can't buy," and not everyone can adjust to a new life at an advanced age.
The video has revealed a divide within the community. Some agree that emigrating after 60 can be extremely challenging, suggesting that parents might be better off visiting rather than moving permanently. "It's tough to adjust to this country at that age," one user commented. Others noted that perhaps the dream was the children's, not the parents'. Yet, some argued that with determination, one can start anew at any age, sharing stories of 70-year-old mothers finding work and purpose.
Beyond differing opinions, the video—garnering over 600 comments—highlights an uncomfortable yet real conversation within the Cuban diaspora: migration involves not just relocating to a new country but also redefining family roles. Sometimes, the desire to provide a better life doesn't necessarily mean everyone feels happier living far from home.
Understanding the Challenges of Aging Cuban Immigrants
Why is it difficult for older Cuban immigrants to adjust to life in the U.S.?
Older Cuban immigrants often face language barriers, lack of job opportunities, and loss of independence, making it challenging to adapt to a new life in the U.S.
What emotional challenges do Cuban families face when reuniting in the U.S.?
Families may experience emotional strain as roles change, with children becoming caregivers and parents struggling with nostalgia and a lack of purpose.