A Cuban Woman's Eye-Opening Birthday Experience in Spain

A Cuban expatriate residing in Spain recently shared a revealing cultural encounter on TikTok, highlighting her first major cultural surprise since migrating over eight years ago: the unique way children's birthdays are celebrated in the European nation.

In a video posted on her account @susana.lavidaesuna, she recounted organizing her daughter's birthday party, just as any Cuban mother might, by covering all the expenses for the event at a play center. "I sent out invitations to the school parents' group, specifying the location and time, inviting everyone and thanking them," she explained. However, she was taken aback when she received an unexpected private message: "One of the mothers called me to ask how much should be contributed for the birthday."

Surprised, she clarified that nothing was required, as she was hosting the event. "I told her, 'What do you mean contribute? No, no, I'm inviting you,'" she recalled. Yet, the other mother's persistence revealed a cultural misunderstanding. "She asked again, 'But how much do we contribute for the birthday?'"

It was then that Susana discovered a common practice in that school setting: invited children's parents typically chip in a sum, usually five euros per child, while the host family covers the remaining party expenses. "They explained that if each child brought a gift, it would end up costing more. This way is better; everyone contributes, and the birthday child's mother buys the desired gift," she explained. While the concept seemed reasonable, experiencing it firsthand was different. "On the birthday day, parents handed me five euros... I was mortified. I stood there awkwardly, but it seemed perfectly normal to them."

Despite the initial shock, Susana acknowledged she has since embraced the practice. "Now, I'm well-adapted, I find it practical, and I give my five euros at birthdays and collect them too, no problem," she laughed.

Her story sparked a lively debate in the video's comment section. Numerous Spanish users insisted it wasn't a widespread practice. "Where in Spain do you live? I have a child, and we've never done that," wrote Montse. Elena A. agreed: "That norm must be that specific group of parents. We pay for the birthday, and others bring a gift, that's it."

Others were more blunt. "That doesn't happen in Spain; it must have been those parents," commented Pochi. María del Mar added, "I'm Spanish, and I've never celebrated a birthday like that. I invite who I want, and each child brings a little gift if they can, nothing more."

However, some confirmed that this type of pooling does occur in certain areas as a way to organize collective gifts and avoid duplicates. "In my daughter's school, we do it this way: ten euros per child, and the family buys whatever they want, clothes, toys, from all the kids," explained Fatima Pérez. Another user shared, "We give the money to the parents, and they buy a gift for the birthday child from the guests."

Some mothers clarified that the money isn't handed over directly but organized discreetly. "One mom collects from all the children and asks the birthday child's mom if she prefers a voucher, a toy, or the money," commented a user named "September." From Toledo, another mother shared, "Each child contributes five euros, and together we buy one or more gifts, depending on the amount."

Susana's experience adds to a growing collection of stories from Cubans abroad sharing their cultural clashes. In Sweden, a young woman noted that "catcalls don't exist" and "women take the initiative in relationships." In Mexico, another Cuban expressed confusion over the use of spicy flavors even in lollipops and the existence of a "Cuban sandwich" that, according to her, has nothing to do with the island. In the United States, a newly arrived mother declared that the food "tastes like nothing," which she described as a real "trauma."

In other instances, cultural differences lead to situations as bewildering as they are humorous. "I bathed with a cup because I didn't know how the shower worked," confessed a young Cuban on TikTok, adding to a long list of viral anecdotes about newcomers adapting to new realities.

Susana concludes her story with a reflection shared by many migrants. "I believe that every house has its own rules. If you visit someone, you follow their house rules. I'm Cuban but live in Spain. My duty is to adapt to the new country."

Have you ever experienced a cultural clash like this? How are birthdays celebrated in your community?