A Cuban woman living in the United States, known on TikTok as @dallanayroman, has sparked a heated debate with her viral message that resonates deeply within the Cuban community: "If you want to keep a good relationship with your family in Cuba, leave them there!" In her video, which has attracted over a thousand comments, she argues that sending "a little treat, some sandals, a hundred dollars, and things like that" keeps the relationship harmonious. However, she warns that bringing them to live with you might ruin everything.
Dallanay highlights that upon arriving in the U.S., many relatives come with unrealistic expectations, assuming they won't need to work and will continue to be supported financially. "When you tell them they need to help you and work, that's where everything falls apart," she asserts. Based on her experience, "98% of families" who bring relatives from the island end up in conflict. She believes that maintaining physical distance is often the best way to preserve harmony.
The video prompted a flood of responses, with users sharing their experiences. "I brought them all, and now none of them talk to me," one user lamented. "It cost me my marriage," another shared. "I almost got kicked out of my own house," added another. Conversely, some recounted positive experiences: "My friend and his wife have lived with me for seven months, and I have no complaints; they are hardworking and help with everything." Yet, the majority confirmed that bringing family members is usually more challenging than anticipated.
Some commenters reminded others that not every story ends in conflict. "Not everyone is like that," one person noted. "Some arrive and want to work, help, and succeed from day one." Others urged against generalizing, emphasizing that every family is unique, and sometimes the newcomer is the one facing mistreatment. Nonetheless, Dallanay's testimony struck a chord with many in the expatriate Cuban community.
Unfazed by criticism, the video's creator responded calmly, stating, "It's harsh and sad, but real." Her message has sparked a broader discussion about long-distance family relationships, the mutual expectations of those who stay and those who leave, and the unseen sacrifices of many Cubans abroad. As one follower succinctly put it: "Family, once a year, and only in photos."
Insights on Cuban Family Dynamics in the U.S.
Why do some Cuban families face challenges when reunited in the U.S.?
Many Cuban families encounter difficulties due to unrealistic expectations regarding financial support and work responsibilities, leading to conflicts.
Can bringing family members to the U.S. have positive outcomes?
Yes, while many face challenges, there are also success stories where relatives adapt well, work hard, and positively contribute to their new households.
How does distance help maintain family harmony?
Maintaining distance can help preserve relationships by avoiding the daily conflicts that arise from living together under stressful circumstances.